News

Empathy, keeping your ego under control and knowing when to be quiet are just a few of the ways campus police and security officers can improve interactions with members of their campus community and keep arrests or citations from escalating into violence.

Published: April 19, 2023Author: Lt. John Weinstein 

 We have all been there. Whether working a traffic stop, providing event security, responding to a domestic violence call, receiving complaints or helping campus citizens navigate bureaucracy, we have interacted with angry, frustrated, confused and unreasonable people.

The signs of their frustration and anger are obvious. The indications may include a red or flushed face; vocal extremes, such as very loud or soft speech, a faster pace or a higher pitch; rapid respiration; protruding veins; a bladed stance; hands balled up into fists; or an unwillingness to listen. Sometimes, these behaviors are accompanied by a subject’s lack of awareness of his or her surroundings, clothes in disarray, the odor of alcohol or drugs, or actual threats. These are toxic situations.

The challenge, in keeping with our “protect and serve” mandate, is to protect ourselves from violence and complaints while meeting the citizen’s needs, when possible, without resorting to physical means and arrest. These challenges are not unique to police and security officers. They extend to all service personnel, whether public or private, who deal with the public.

The following 10 tips will help you prevent an interaction from becoming toxic and de-escalate one that does.

[promo_content slug=”weinstein-csc-2020-promo”]

1. Remember the Golden Rule. Everyone wants to be treated with dignity and respect. People want to be asked rather than told to do things, and they want to be given options rather than threats. Most importantly, they want to be told why they’re being asked to do something. Remember: by virtue of being in a position of authority, you are the “superior” in a superior-subordinate relationship. Think of this relationship as that which exists between a parent and a child. Note there is inherent conflict in this interaction because nobody wants to be seen and treated as a subordinate. Ordering people to do things may work in the short term, and sometimes, there is no other choice. However, such commanding behavior often antagonizes people, resulting in resentment and complaints. Even if your command carries the moment, ask yourself how that member of your campus community, whom you’ve just over-ridden, is likely to interact with the next officer or service person encountered.

2. Provide relevant information. What’s the first thing most citizens ask in a traffic stop? Usually, it’s “why did you stop me?” We are an information society, and everyone wants to know what’s going on. People want explanations because they want to understand what’s happening to them and why. They abhor feeling powerless. Again, we want to avoid the parent-child relationship. Telling your child to do something because “I’m your father (or mother) and I said so!” may work, especially when your kids are young, but it is a losing proposition with a citizen who expects and has a right to be treated with respect. And, by the way, answering the speeder’s question with “It’s my job” won’t cut it. Perhaps your explanation will touch on the fact there are children in the area, there have been recent accidents there, etc.

[promo_content slug=”weinstein-2019-csc-content-promo”]

3. 2 = 6. In any conversation between individuals A and B, there are six rather than two people involved. Consider the speeder I stop. There is the “real” me (i.e., the product of my background); the person I think I am (I see myself as a dedicated, brave, honest and exceedingly handsome officer); and how the speeder sees me (old, fat, donut-eating cop filling his ticket quota). Then, there’s the actual, existential speeder, the speeder’s self-perception (i.e., an excellent driver, and with a legitimate need to go faster than the silly laws allow), and the speeder I see (a law-breaker endangering the public). You can see how a conversation in which I allow myself, how I see myself, to interact with the speeder as I see him or her, is going to skew the interaction in a way that will upset the citizen and deny him or her the respect and understanding they deserve.  In short, recognize all people see themselves and each other differently.  You must be sensitive to these often conflicting perceptions to understand the dynamics of the conversation and to minimize conflict.

CONTINUE READING this ARTICLE on 

Campus Security Magazine at: https://www.campussafetymagazine.com/news/dealing-with-difficult-people-10-tips-for-defusing-toxic-situations/10922/?utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8jqKSMqc3Ot6pGqdNX1rhzn3Au9KhrF_hynYLqHfNO5kmt_WKVqcBK2QcxbuuBaEgWovaKdEz6yit9q-gbIj1ntnYWbDimDd1dN2JzVqCbFzKmxBg&_hsmi=348614998&utm_content=348614998&utm_source=hs_email

Thank you for stopping by.